Monday, September 21, 2015

4 Decades

I have always had a special feeling about a 40 year old person. Partly due to having heard about the lives of people who revolutionarily changed when they hit 40, somewhere deep inside me has always been the belief that I will experience major changes when I get 40 years old. A belief which has always been mixed with excitement, joy and mystery. Wondering if anything will really happen and occasionally sensing doubts that it might all be part of the myths of life, somehow wanting to believe that there is some truth in it. Maybe because I just enjoy changes, maybe because I despise a routine deterministic life or maybe since I am hoping for an empowered self that magically happens at a point in time.

I should know the exact answer in 4 months from now when I turn 40. The good news is that I have already been feeling the change coming. The world is moving slower, phenomena are seen and understood better, mindset is changing, patterns are being seen in memories and they have found more meanings, balance is even more king, there are more "nows" in time and all in all it appears that the miracle of 40 might in fact not be stuck in the books. Can this be me shedding skin? I will embrace this new self with arms wide open! This new consciousness.

What enhances this euphoric feeling is that I still sense a childish joy inside for many joyous experiences from the past. The beginners excitement towards learning many things, doing many things and becoming many things is still there. Getting back to the ring with better gloves and still loving the fight!

Maybe it is my subconscious making all this up, maybe there is in fact a miracle of 40, but does it really matter? What matters is that I am feeling this miracle with my bones! Getting a chance to be more of yourself sure feels good.

Hello me, get ready to see the new me very soon!

"Life begins at forty." - W. B. Pitkin 
"The first forty years of life give us the text: the next thirty supply the commentary." - Arthur Schopenhauer
"We don't understand life any better at forty than at twenty, but we know it and admit it." - Jules Renard